Lightning Strikes Me

I'm going walking in the rain
I hear the thunder, and I see the lightning.
I am going walking in the rain.

Day after day and play after play.
Is today the day I win or loose?
As if I even have the right to choose.

Look at me and a smile you will see, but not in my eye.
The pain and hurt is all in the mirror looking back at me.

The Mirror...

The one that tells your true lies, you know the ones you try to hide.
The one you look into hoping for a change and all you see is nothing but the same.

I can not see what is waiting for me,
Nor do I care to know.

Because I'm afraid to say I would die if I knew,
What the strength is, I am growing into.

Today my friend is the start to an end,
And every day in between.

It's the mornings I see as I crawl off my knees,
And Thank God for the blessings that will be.

For I am still in my path of Present and Past,
And the future is not mine to see.

With this promise I can say,
Only my music, This pen, and Me,
Can truly take me to where I can see.

I'm going walking in the rain

I hear the thunder, and I see the lightning.

I am going walking in the rain.

Melissa A. Hall

07/06/2011

Leave Me

I have used you to hold me up, I have used you for pleasure, and for pain.
I have used you to escape, To loose myself, or Maybe it was to find myself.

I have been here before. No answers to questions, and no possible way to find out.
I am so trying to find myself.

I wish my heart did not hurt so,. So I could just forget you and let go.
I wish you would call just one more time and say "I miss you, will you be mine",
so I could lie and say what I should have said the first time.

The summers are all different now.
Nothing to loose,  It's all lost, and Everything to gain, It's all new.

I'm lost in the days of list, and needs, to do's, and wants.
All that matters is I still can't find myself.

I wish my heart did not hurt so,. So I could just forget you and let go.
I wish you would call just one more time and say "I miss you, will you be mine",
so I could lie and say what I should have said the first time.

"Leave me, Let me go if you don't love me." It's a little to late.
You will hurt me, with the words you did say and the actions you did take.

I have always been there for you from the start, but for some reason now,
I feel like I stole it and left my heart.

I wish my heart did not hurt so,. So I could just forget you and let go.
I wish you would call just one more time and say "I miss you, will you be mine",
so I could lie and say what I should have said the first time.


The music in my head has come and gone. With no release it just stays bottled up.
But with that bottle, I must stay. For there is no room in and no way out.

When I start to hear the music and I see my way out,
The wind will stop blowing, My tears will stop flowing, and My breath will disapear.

See, I see a simple side of me.
Just look into my eyes and see my smile and.....................

Leave me.

11/15/2010
Melissa Hall

Forever my heart alone will be.

Once upon a time, In a fairy tale along time ago,
And that is were that ended.
Be strong now, because things will get better,
It might be stormy now but, it can not rain forever.

The things I can change I will do my best,
For I am only human just like the rest.
The things I can not, No Worries for me,
For those are the "wants" that will never be.

How do you know when it is truly love?
When your heart skips a beat,
And the words you want to say just seem to walk away.
How do you know when it is time to say good bye?
When it is all about the other,
And the shimmer has no color.

The air that surrounds me suffocates me with rage,
My heart is there, so dark and broken, it can only be caged.

Looking back I realize,
I was never ever meant to stay,
But what hurts the most is that you wanted it that way.

Life is a constant change.
The rocks it throws,
The storms it blows,
And the smile on a face of someone you know.

With a blink of an eye.
The storms stop blowing,
And the face stops glowing.
Forever my heart alone will be,
I have no doubt, This Is What I See.

The path I'm walking,
I must walk alone.

Forever my heart alone will be, I have no doubt, This Is What I See.


Melissa Hall
04\20\2010

So When is Enough, Enough?

Is it when you get to the place were the hills that you have been climbing seem straight, But you know there will always be hills along the path.

Is it when the storm stops blowing you around and around and all that is left is a small shower with the sun shinning through first, before you see the rainbow.

Is it when you realize the baby you brought into this world is not the one you thought, but becomes much more with your guidance.

Is it when you realize that some of the decisions you made were the right ones!, but yet still question the ones you don’t know.

Is it when you can finally sleep alone and feel safe with in your own world, but realize you feel safer with someone else beside you.

Is it when you finally hear the music with in your own heart and learn to dance with it, regardless of the fact that you might be the only one who ever hears it.

Is it when you realize that the life you had will be no more!, But the life you make can always be better because of the lessons you have already learned.


So When is Enough, Enough?


Melissa Hall
04/08/09

Touch, Touch, Touch, FEEL ?

As I walk through my days I FEEL like I’m the lady in the tissue commercial.

Touch, Touch, Touch, FEEL

For me it is more like Touch touch, Touch touch, Touch, but when it comes to FEEL, I find that part missing.

I miss the FEEL of a warm hand down my neck, down my arms, down my back.

I miss the FEEL of someone I can always go to with anything, and just because they can’t fix it, I know they would.

I miss the warm FEEL of a body around me as I sleep, consuming me as I wake.

As I walk through my days I see friends and acquaintances FEEL one another, and not question the moment, just embrace it. I see it come easy for some and not at all for others, and I question why this is.

Touch, Touch, Touch, FEEL?

Melissa Hall
01/2009

I had a DREAM last night

I don’t think I dream and if I do I never remember them. This one stood out like someone was saying “Hey you, I’m talking to you. Are you listening?, Can you hear me?”

The dream started and it was if I was like a ghost, a mind reader. I could hear what my family and friends said and thought about me.
Strong, Good head on her shoulder, Loving to everyone, Beautiful, Kind, Great mom, Hard worker, Just has her shit together.

But I traveled away and I looked in the mirror and I did not see what they thought, what they see.
Imperfections in myself, Week, Angry, Lost, Wondering “Who are you“, Helpless, Searching for myself.

But again I traveled away. I thought about what I felt, Not about what people think, or what I see in the mirror, but how I feel about myself.
Blessed, Loved, Missed, I feel strong some days, but not others. I feel I’m a great mom, but know I will make mistakes. I really would give more than I have if I could. I can’t please everyone, but my family comes first.

THEN I WOKE UP.

I got up, got the kids up to get ready for school, clothes were already laid out, coffee was already dripping down stairs, I could smell it. Life is great.

I kept thinking about the dream and why do I have to remember one so emotional, so upsetting. I mean at first I felt as if I were at my funeral, then I wondered why when I look in the mirror do I see what I see. That is not me.

I finally realized the last of the DREAM is all I need, the rest does not matter.Who cares what people think, my family and friends are the ones who count. They know me for me, the good and the bad. What I see in the mirror are just my insecurities, and feelings that come and go. It is called life.

The most important part about the dream is that it is the one that let me know I am ALIVE.

I can feel good about living each day to the fullest and smelling the roses along the way. To enjoy each moment as if it will never happen again. I can feel good about staying in PJ’s all day watching movies with the kids, knowing I have so much to do, as stupid as it sounds, to dance like no one is watching. Let the music play, While I let my heart sing, Until the moment I take my last breath. And I can do this because I know you only live once so I will not take the free ride in my life.

I will live it to the fullest, be thankful for the blessing that are given to me and let everything else fall into place.


…… So why then am I having this DREAM…


Melissa Hall
01/2009

Today is here!

I did not write this one, but love it.


There comes a time in your life when you realize that if you stand still, you will remain at this point forever. You realize that if you fall and stay down, life will pass you by.

Life's circumstances are not always what you might wish them to be. The pattern of life does not necessarily go as you plan. Beyond any understanding, you may at times be led in different directions that you never imagined, dreamed, or designed. Yet if you had never put any effort into choosing a path, or tried to carry out your dream, then perhaps you would have no direction at all.

Rather than wondering about or questioning the direction your life has taken, accept the fact that there is a path before you now. Shake off the "why's" and "what if's," and rid yourself of confusion. What ever was - is in the past. Whatever is - is what's important. The past is a brief reflection. The future is yet to be realized. Today is here.

Walk your path one step at a time - with courage, faith, and determination. Keep your head up, and cast your dreams to the stars. Soon your steps will become firm and your footing will be solid again. A path that you never imagined will become the most comfortable direction you could have ever hoped to follow.

Keep your belief in yourself and walk into your new journey. You will find it magnificent, spectacular, and beyond your wildest imaginings."

~~Vicki Silvers

Free Love?

I did not write this one, but love it as well.


"Free love? As if love is anything but free! Man has bought brains, but all the millions in the world have failed to buy love. Man has subdued bodies, but all the power on earth has been unable to subdue love. Man has conquered whole nations, but all his armies could not conquer love. Man has chained and fettered the spirit, but he has been utterly helpless before love. High on a throne, with all the splendor and pomp his gold can command, man is yet poor and desolate, if love passes him by. And if it stays, the poorest hovel is radiant with warmth, with life and color. Thus love has the magic power to make of a beggar a king. Yes, love is free; it can dwell in no other atmosphere."


Emma Goldman