I had a DREAM last night

I don’t think I dream and if I do I never remember them. This one stood out like someone was saying “Hey you, I’m talking to you. Are you listening?, Can you hear me?”

The dream started and it was if I was like a ghost, a mind reader. I could hear what my family and friends said and thought about me.
Strong, Good head on her shoulder, Loving to everyone, Beautiful, Kind, Great mom, Hard worker, Just has her shit together.

But I traveled away and I looked in the mirror and I did not see what they thought, what they see.
Imperfections in myself, Week, Angry, Lost, Wondering “Who are you“, Helpless, Searching for myself.

But again I traveled away. I thought about what I felt, Not about what people think, or what I see in the mirror, but how I feel about myself.
Blessed, Loved, Missed, I feel strong some days, but not others. I feel I’m a great mom, but know I will make mistakes. I really would give more than I have if I could. I can’t please everyone, but my family comes first.

THEN I WOKE UP.

I got up, got the kids up to get ready for school, clothes were already laid out, coffee was already dripping down stairs, I could smell it. Life is great.

I kept thinking about the dream and why do I have to remember one so emotional, so upsetting. I mean at first I felt as if I were at my funeral, then I wondered why when I look in the mirror do I see what I see. That is not me.

I finally realized the last of the DREAM is all I need, the rest does not matter.Who cares what people think, my family and friends are the ones who count. They know me for me, the good and the bad. What I see in the mirror are just my insecurities, and feelings that come and go. It is called life.

The most important part about the dream is that it is the one that let me know I am ALIVE.

I can feel good about living each day to the fullest and smelling the roses along the way. To enjoy each moment as if it will never happen again. I can feel good about staying in PJ’s all day watching movies with the kids, knowing I have so much to do, as stupid as it sounds, to dance like no one is watching. Let the music play, While I let my heart sing, Until the moment I take my last breath. And I can do this because I know you only live once so I will not take the free ride in my life.

I will live it to the fullest, be thankful for the blessing that are given to me and let everything else fall into place.


…… So why then am I having this DREAM…


Melissa Hall
01/2009